Deann Dmere!

Whats going on!!

2011-06-17T09:38:00.001-07:00

Hello my lovely blog!! Today is FRIDAY!!! Thank heavens!! It took all the strength in my 5 foot body to get out of bed this morning! Whew! Well for a brief update let me see... Well, Damien and I have officially separated. Yes.. he has moved out. It was what needed to happen. We were arguing just waaaay too much and besides the intimacy and all that has dissolved years ago between us! It was just time to move on. So the only downside to him being gone of course is me footing the bills for EVERYTHING! Mortgage, Lights, Gas, Food, Phone, transportation..etc. So yea it's a lot! Oh and lets not forget the fact that he was the COOK! so fuck yea i am missing all the good eats and shit! I may have to invest in one of those Converter ovens that cooks whole meals in like 20 minutes straight from the freezer! Only because by the time i get home its close to 9pm! I be tired as hell! i don't feel like cooking nada! ..But the baby can't eat Mcdonalds and Popeyes every dam night!..So yea I've got to figure something out. Speaking of my baby boy..he is doing just fine! Getting bigger and taller! He's gonna be tall like his uncles i can tell! I've been searching for a new gig! With Damien gone i'll definitely need more money! Even though that little bit of money that i was able to squeeze out of his ass wasn't shit! I told him that he would have to give me $300 a month for Gavin ($150 every two weeks) so we'll see! I would hate to have to take him to child support, but i will if i have too! He's just too inconsistent! So last weekend was my H.S reunion. I went to some of the festivities and it was just nice to see everyone 10yrs later. Some people gained weight..some lost. Some even lost hair!..lol! I'm like dam! WTF happened?.. But anyway on Friday night the "Meet & Greet" was held at a club called "Juniors". So i go with my buddy Edress and we were having a good time. I had a few drinks and was feeling gooooood! So i see my ex-friends that DONT talk to me (Alesha, Shawndia and Tanesha) sitting against the wall. I go over being my usual breezy self and ask jokingly, "What yall having a Glamour Girl Meeting?" Just talking shit! I aint mean no harm at all. Anyways Alesha sloppy ass goes in!.. Like, "Aint nobody on that!..Aint nobody said shit to you....yadda yadda..yadda!" I mean pissed off! So clearly this big bitch is still mad at me ova some shit that happened last JUNE!!..lol! Girl let that shit goooooo!! So anyway she got her hands all in my face and everything!..lmao! Like she is really bad! So i slap her hand out my face and "Patty" another girl that we went to H.S with hauls off and punches me in the face!.. I couldn't believe it! I had never had an issue with Patty! so needless to say it was complete pandamonium in the place! I was flabbergasted! The picnic was that Sunday tho and Patty made her way over to me to apologize. I accepted the apology since i felt it was sincere and again i never had an issue with her! I guess she was protecting her amazonian BFF Alesha!..lmao! It's all good tho.. they can stay mad..i'm good! Bubba came and saw me on lunch last week in his drop top Benz and we was styling and profiling on Michigan avenue! People were looking like, "What that Black girl doing with that Asian boy!"..lol! Whateva! Bubba to quiet tho! I just take the lack of conversation as a muthafucka not really being interested! So thanks for the Ride and the spliff Bubba but, umm your number has been deleted..Sowwie..:( I go see my sissy this weekend! Yay!! Going to go and get my hair done for this LA trip on the 23rd. Burundi is s'pose to be sending for me..we'll see. He talk so much shit! He did put some money in my account for me last week tho, so we'll see what happens. I already put the time in at work so im ready!..Just waiting on him! If he fake me out i'm calling my buddy "Say-So" since he's in Vegas. See if he can send for me so i can come hang out down there with him for a weekend! I've started writing a second novel and its Gooooooood! I'm gonna start the process to get the first one published finally! I'm adamant about being progressive this year and getting things DONE! Okay that's my piece on this Friday afternoon PEACE!..:)

"You Better Leave Me"

2011-06-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

http://youtu.be/zKsai_KiTiU I looove this song! Found it on another site called "Soul Bounce" and i am hooked!! Love how he flipped the whole script and made a song entitled "You better Leave me!" Man that is innovative! I'm mad as hell that i didn't come up with that first!..lol! I'm definitely inspired tho! Gonna see if i can play around with some words in my head and come up with something along similar lines! Dopeness!! I love it!!! :))

Beyonce “Till the End of Time” MP3

2011-05-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

Beyonce “Till the End of Time” MP3 Hola!! I just heard this new Beyonce track on "TheFAder" and I Love it!! Great little summer song!! I can see me dancing to this come July 4th night!.:))

Moody Monday

2011-05-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hola! Today i am not in the best of spirits. The weekend was actually pretty chill. I got out on Friday and hung out a bit with Kawanee and then BigMika it was cool. Saturday and Sunday the weather sucked major ass so i stayed in. So the thing that pissed me off this morning was the fact that Damien's ass complimented our4yr old at least 3 times this morning and didnt bother to say anything to me! Then on top of that he opens the door as we're leaving and yells, "Bye Gavin have a good day!" Okay like the baby is taking his fucking self to school you know?! Like how dam rude! You can't even say "Goodbye, have a good day" to me?.. That shit hurts my fucken feelings! Like is it really to the point where you can't say those small kind words to me?.. As much shit as i have to do! Get up at 7 iron me and Gavin's clothes, feed him!.. get him clean and dressed and ready for school! Wait on the bus..get off the bus take him in the school, wait BACK on the bus just so i can head downtown to work! All this shit EVERY DAM DAY and i can't get a "Have a good day?!" BULLSHIT!! I called that asshole and told him, "If i cant even get your ass to say "Good morning have a nice day" to me, then you really need to be getting up out my shit! Dam! I'm just so tired of being un happy, not loved, or tounched or even talked to for that matter! That "Get out" shit is played and i'm tired of even saying the shit! I just want a new start! Please Lord Help ME!! What the hell am I s'pose to be doing???? So lastweek sometime i viewed an apartment not to far from where i live. It was a 2bdrm for 750 a month which includes heat! The place wasn't anything to scream about, but it was quaint and affordable. I called the guy this morning and he told me that i've got it! I'm so afraid of making the wrong move! But i do know that if i continue living the way im living i'll continue to be unhappy and behind and miserable! I dont want that life!.. I'm tired of it.. I was taking my baby to school lastweek and this guy stopped in his car trying to talk to me. His name is Cornellius and he's a bit older and retired! So i gave him my # and the pussy calls me EVERY DAM DAY!! Like what the fuck dude! Slow the fuck down shit!! His old ass called me the whole dam weekend but I had my phone on silent and didn't feel like talking to his ass! So today i get to work and he calls, I figure i'd answer since the motherfucker called me about 20 dam times! So i answer and he's like, "This is Cornellius and i was looking for Ms. Ebony". So I'm like, "Ebony" my name isn't "Ebony. So this dumb ass instead of simply apologizing and saying, "Oh i'm sorry love and proceed from there, this dipshit tells me, "Well that's what you told me your name was.". I'm looking at my phone like what??.. GTFOH! I aint told you know shit like that! I said, "No i never told you that!" He's like, "Well im not about to argue with you, but that's what you told me!". Okay so i was already in a pissy ass mood and this old fuck just added to it! Hell naw you aint gotta argue with me about nothing asshole! Get the fuck off my line! I hung up in his dam face! Stop playing with me dude! And so "Bubba" is back on the scene..i guess.. *Shrugs*. He text me "Hey Spicy Lips" last week while i was here at work. We chatted for a bit and he told me that he's on crutches right now. Poor thang. So we made a date to link up tomorrow, but im gonna cancel. Tired of hanging out with these bullshit ass niccas! I need to find my happy place! And i'm just not in a mood to be entertaining some shit that's going absolutely nowhere!! Plus i don't talk to him enough to be going out "Hanging" with him! So Fuck Damien, Fuck Cornellius thirsty dumb ass and Fuck Bubba's fat ass too! I'm done with them all!!

I am loving this lil song!..

2011-05-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

Werk B.S

2011-05-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hey there!.. Well I am at this place called "Werk" and I just had to nip some shit in the bud! Now i've mentioned to 2 of my co-workers before that all the whispering and giggling that they do in the office is beyond rude! So both of them had the whole "Wide Eye" look when i brought it to them before and claimed that, I was tripping. So i thought hey maybe i was! But this morning I come in and they start it up again with all the whispering and shit so i called their asses out on it! I said, "All that whispering and shit that yall do is Rude!" So one co-worker, actually the one that was doing the whispering didn't utter a word. But the other one "Danielle" said, "She was tryna tell me something and it had nothing to do with you". I'm like, "How the hell do i know that?" The shit is just rude! Just cut it out PERIOD!! Dam! Talking about, "But we grown". Well Act like it! Geesh! So moving on from that. Let's see... Umm last week I went out to Woodridge to visit Charisma. She's got a nice place..she's trying to move tho. So yea i hung out with her for a lil bit. That shit with "Bubba's" ass may be over! He's stood me up not once but twice right now! So i'm positive that it won't be a third time! Asshole. Dame and I haven't been talking very much.. *Shrug* there's just not much to say anymore I guess. Oh last weekend Me, Timika and Erica took babysistah "Stasha" out for her 20th birthday! Man I can remember that girl being 7 when i first met Damien and now she's 20!! *Sniff* So grown up! And such a good girl! We went to "Mr. Browns Lounge" in the WestLoop and she had a few drinks and was feeling gooooood!..lol! She snagged the finest mofo in the club that night too!..lmao!! Good Stuff!.. Well that's about all i got to gossip about today.. Oh yea Osama Bin Laden is DEAD!! I'm not one to celebrate anyones death, but yea he's outta here! Oh well that's my piece on this hump day Peace!!..:))

Sooo played!!

2011-04-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

so i made a video about things that are still said and done that are so fuccen PLAYED!!.. lol! I was highly annoyed!!..

Really Now??

2011-04-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

Afternoon well evening just about!.. Today is Money making Monday and my mood isn't the very best! Well the weekend was pretty slowmotion. I didn't get into much mischief and pretty much stayed indoors. I got out for a bit on Friday. Hooked up with my old buddy from Grade School "Shanique" and we drank and laughed for awhile. I got to playing that "Michael Jackson Experience"and it was allll she wrote!..lol! I got a glimpse of Bubba on Friday night too. He came and bumped heads with me and we chilled for a min before I had him drop me off to Shanique. I sooo.. miss "Tomi boy". Was s'pose to hang out with him on Saturday, but was in straight lazy mode and decided to reschedule our time. IKR!! The Phuck! When we alllll...know that Tomi is the muthaphuka that we want!..lol! Oh well, hell you can't be so available to these niccas all the dam time! Tho i wanted to throw on some threads and hurry to him, i decided against it. Hopefully we'll get up later on during the week. So what brings me to blog this evening is "Bubba's" ass! So Saturday I ask him via text if he can buy me some perfume. I didn't really see the big dam deal! I mean it's $40 Perfume! Smell goods, come on now! So he asked me, "What was the name" but after I told him he got all dry and shit thru text like, you know there was an issue with him getting it for me. Okay now check this. I work. I can really buy my own $40 bottle of perfume or for that matter get another mofo to buy it okay! He has no issue with asking for Pics and videos and shyt but you wanna act all crazy when i ask you to get me something as small as perfume?? Okay so that was Sat and he really never said "Yes or No" about it. So today he sends me a text saying, "Man I lost all of your pics cuz i've got a new phone" so no problem.. i re-send the pics. Then i say, "So you never told me if you were getting me perfume or not. did you look online?" So this mofo says, "No i didn't look, but what if i told you no?" WHAT?!! So you know i'm pissed at this point right? cuz im thinking like, really what's the fucking deal?!. I can't get a dam bottle of perfume out cho ass??.. Get the fuck outta here! Miss me with the bullshit alright! Cheap ass bastard! Then to top it all off, last week he sent me some raunchy text asking me what color panties i had on.:) I replied, like "Green" And that was that. So today after he sends me this bullshit text asking me if i'm upset about the perfume and I say, "Nope" which is a dam lie im sure he knows! This fuck has the nerve to text, "But i'll take you shopping for panties tho". Umm excuse me pervert! I can go panty shopping on my dam own! I don't need your funky ass! Pissed me off! Typical man shit! You can't buy me perfume but you'll have no problem purchasing something that's along the lines of SEX! Stupid ass! He may have went and gotten his ass deleted for this dumb shit here! Jackass! Ugh! I can't believe you Bubba!!..smh.. Tomi just texted and Friday it is..Whoo hooo!!!.:)))))))))) Oh so why Saturday i receive a message from "Harry" saying, "Whatchu doing?..Come blow with me.." So i'm all for that! I reply, "Cool come scoop me." This motherfucker text back, "I can call you a cab and I've got $5 on it!" Boooooy if you dont get the fuck outta my inbox with that bullshit! Hammercy! I can't win for loosing with these dudes! So needless to say i ignored his ass b/c i didn't wanna have to curse his ass out! Just go away Harry! I'm just too good for you!..Sorry.. I was kinda bummed out and not being able to make "Brittain's" party on Sat at Crush. I couldn't find ANYONE to come with me! WTF!! I am in serious need of a female rappie! I swear that is one thing that I miss the most about my old BF "Alesha" that bitch would go ANYWHERE with me!..lol! I sure do miss that..:( "Burundi" put a call and a few texts in to me over the weekend too.. *Rolls eyes* IDK i'm just so over Burundi and all these nicca's who think they can get "Free Milk!" Not happening!! Call it what you want, but if they can open their mouths to ask for ass.. and tit pics.. and facetime and quality time and..videos..etc then my muthaphucking hand is open! The fuck they think this shit is ova here! "Tomi" know what it is!..These other niccas betta catch up and read the memo! Okay that's all I've got for today... Chow!

It's the weekend..again

2011-04-15T10:37:00.001-07:00

I swear these days are rolling by! Good grief! Well for a brief update lets see. I hung out last weekend at this place called "Rumba" it was a pretty fun time! They gave you a Salsa lesson and everything while there..it was cool! The food was absolutely divine! I had "Empanadas" which is basically a Latin "Potpie" kinda dish! It was good tho. I met up with Tmani and Kawanee while I was there and it was decent. I texted "Tomi" while i was out and asked where he was. He was at the "Embassy" and asked me to come thru... Of course! I heart Tomi!..lol! He was having a lil party up there too! He had like 7 guys and like 5 girls there. Some of his college buddies from out of town were visiting. So they all got dressed to hit up "Shrine" and we stayed behind.:))) I asked him for $100bucks yesterday and he was nice enough to bring it all the way down to my gig, for me..Aww thank you Tomi boy♥♥ So my plans for this weekend include hanging out at this club "Charismaz" for this girl Brittain's bday. We'll see. I wanna hang out with Tomi again Saturday too, so i've gotta see what i can make happen. I deleted "Burundi" from my FB account. He's always got some shit to say to me that I don't like! I'm sure it's because I ignore him and don't really fuck with him that much. He just talks to much about all the shit he's "Doing" when in fact i don't see a dam thang! I mean he's in L.A and all, but he needs to learn how to court a woman! He just want's me falling all over him and all, but that's not about to happen! He ain't did shit for me so he can miss me with all that! I've been choppin it up with "Bubba" lately too! He's opening up a bit more and I'm learning him..its goodstuff.:) He's a mad cool dude. :)) I went online and found a comedy set that's happening at the Arie Crown on 4/30 so i want us to go! I'm sure he'll be down..I at least hope so!..lol. My best man "Gavin" is still fighting the last of his cold.. I'm gonna take him to the "Kids Table" on 04/29. That should be fun!. It's "Kids can Cook" and it's Mexican Fiesta night!.. So im excited about that!.:) Kids and Kites will be back here on 05/07 as well! He looooooved that event the last time we went there. So i am absolutely stoked about getting him back there. My girlfriend "Kawanee" lost her job on yesterday..:( bummer! With her trying to move and back in school for her Masters this couldn't have come at a badder time! She's a smart cookie tho and I'm absolutely sure she will be just fine. I had to remove "Chrissy" from my newsfeed on FB yesterday as well. She post much to much vulgar ish on FB! She's forever talking about how she likes to "Swallow" on there! Like seriously?.. Girl you look the fool! I swear some ppl just do shit for Shock value!..smh.. Just TMI!.. Gosh i swear i can't remain cool with that girl for long!.. I just don't really like her and the way she lives!.. But hey that's just my opinion.. Okay that's my piece on this Friday afternoon! Gonna hit the treadmill and run for a bit on lunch..chow bella! :)

Baby Bubba..:))

2011-04-08T15:32:00.000-07:00

It is officially the weekend!!!.. Thank Heavens! I've got something planned for tomorrow night but tonight I am taking my ass HOME!..Man it took all I had in me to get my butt out of bed this a.m! Rain does that to you, you know?.. Well yesterday evening I hung out with my Chinese buddy "Bubba". Real cool, chill dude. I pride myself on having an eclectic group of friends/associates. Plus, its always cool to get to know about different cultures and how they live you know?.. Well anyway I met Bubba lastyear and we've hung out quite a few times and it's always been cool. He's really a gentleman and I absolutely adore that about him! He's always opening my door to the car..the restaurant..making sure i'm comfortable.. I appreciate all that.:) So lastnight we hit up "Jagrille" Jamaican Cuisine restaurant. The food was "Decent" nothing to take your breath away that's for dam sure! The few sisters/brothers that were there, stayed looking in our dam direction too!.. They bout were thinking, "What is this Black girl doing with a Chinese man in a Jamaican restaurant?"..lmao! Whateva! Phuck yall! So he ordered Curry Shrimp with Rice beans and plantain and convinced me to get the Oxtails. I was not at all pleased with my entree!..lol! He wanted to eat some of my oxtails tho, that's why he made me get them!.lol! We also had Honey glazed wings and Jamaican beef patties for the appetizers. I had a drink called "Jamaican Kiss" and it was goooooood. He doesn't drink so I had another one for him..lmao!! The ambiance is really nice at Jagrille tho..I'm sure it's really live in the summer, with the outdoor seating and all.. I'd recommend it.:) It was time to get me home after dinner and that was that. I'm gonna look to see if any comedy sets are coming up soon and maybe him and I can hit one up, cause I like hanging out with "Baby Bubba!".:) I've made plans to meet my my girl Taleice and Kawanee at "Rumba" tomorrow night so I'm ready for that! It's a Latin restaurant and lounge that's really nice! Great fare and music and I cant wait to shake my tail feather! Kawanee ass know's how to Salsa so I know she's ready to shut shyt down tomorrow!..lol! Well i'm looking forward to it!.. Gonna rock me a lil dress and whatknot!.:) Well that's my piece on this rainy Friday luvs.. Peace!..

Mike Posner - Bow Chicka Wow Wow ft. Lil Wayne

2011-04-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

Im lovin this lil song right now!..lol..Bow chica Bow wow!...:)

Harry the Haitian!..

2011-03-31T14:07:00.000-07:00

Hello there! Long time no Font!.:) Well I chose today to vent about my latest rendevous! So yesterday i decided to go and hang out with one of my Haitian friends "Harry". Now Harry is 35yrs young and honestly, one of the most respectable guys I have met in a loooooong time! For this reason alone I entertain our friendship. I mean I have a host of male platonic friends, i really don't need anymore! It's only a matter of time before they start to get that look in their eyes and want to become more that just "Friends", Be that as it may, there was just something about "Harry" that rubbed me the right way. So yesterday I wasn't feeling like carrying my ass straight home after work so I didn't! I called Harry and asked if he wanted to blow back.. sure he did! Come on ova! So I did. Now i had never been to this mans house, but considering he is 35 I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that you have your shit together!..At least your own place!.. So needless to say i get ova there and this mofo lives in the basement!! Yes the wet dank ass basement of his moms house! So I don't get to judging right then and there.. i wait. So then we go and take a seat in the cold ass dinningroom area with shit thrown all over the fuccen floor..like seriously boi??.. At this point i'm STILL no judge.. So he lights incensse Cool. I like Inscense..:) So not even 5 mins into the burning, he gets a loud pound on the door. He excuses himsself and goes to answer it. His MOTHER barges in and starts going HAM on his ass for lighting the inscense!..lmao!! I mean she is PISSED!!. She gets to speaking her native Haitian creole tongue and it is beyond embarrassing!! I hear thuds and things falling..i was actually scared! So like 20mins later he brings his ass back to the dinningroom laughing like the shit's funny when it's totally not!! So now, i'm side eyeing dude like "Really?" I ask, "Did you get in trouble?.." He's like, "Naw it's cool." Hmmmm..okay! So then we flame up and.. all of a sudden the lights go out!!!... *Sighs.. Power outage?..Or you didnt pay the bill?.. Either way i'm blowin this spot!! I'mma need you to getcho shit together with your living situation.. your mom...this inscense issue..and COMED before you invite anymore women over to your basement apartment to blow! Dam Harry!..smh...

Family

2011-01-17T11:32:00.001-08:00

Well mine I swear the most aint worth a pot to piss in! Hello my lonely blog! How i've missed you so!..Happy new Year!! i plan on making this year a very productive one! I claim that this will be the year of progress and increase! The good Lord blessed me with $7,000 and I was able to get all the much needed repairs on my house! He also blessed me with giving me lower mortgage payments of $843 going forward so I am just elated about all that! So now that, all of that is in perspective i can focus more seriously on my music. I've vowed not to let anything or anyone deter me on my journey to land a musical placement this year! I'm sticking to that! I've also decided that after my bday (2/20) i will be giving up the spliffs FOR GOOD!! They just make me too lazy and i let a lot of things go undone. This year i will be traveling to "NEW YORK CITY!!" I know it's probably not a huge deal but it is to me, only b/c i've never been and have been trying to get there forever!! So i am traveling alone.. No sweat! Me being me i'm sure i'll meet someone out there to hang with! I'm just excited about the trip overall. I want a real NYC experience! Jamaican Beef Patty's and all!..lol! So, as far as family life goes, it's been pretty decent. I was blessed with some of the funds before the holidays and so i was in a real giving mood, so i gave out pretty nice gifts this year. Gavin had a great Christmas and his dad and I have been getting along pretty well (Thank God) We're not married or anything yet, but honestly i'm not for sure if Damien is the guy i would want to marry, so yea!..the jury's still out on that one. He has however been more reliable with funds for the house and bills and such, so that's been a relief. We shall see tho, b/c i've expressed to him how i WILL NOT do what we've been doing for another whole year so i must say there has been some improvements. I am not currently speaking with my sister or mother or maybe anyone on my mothers side of the family. I've just decided to throw in the towel with them. I honestly don't think they love me and Gavin so instead of continuing to wollow in it and wonder why they don't i just think its easier to accept that they don't and just keep it moving. Everything that happnes is s'posed to that's why it did, so my assumption is that Damien's family are My Family! That's the way God made it, so that's the way it is. It hurts but i've gotta be strong..like always. I love them, but they hurt me too much God and i just dont want to keep going thru that. So i ask that you cover me Lord and those that run across this Pray for me. Keep me Lord and hear my prayer. If there is any anger in my heart towards anyone i ask that you remove it. I forgive all those who have wronged me, but i haven't forgot. Continue to love me and guide me. In your name i pray forever and always Amen.

I'm In DEMAND!!!!

2010-09-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

hahahahah!! And its the stone cold truth babes! Hello my lonely little ol'e blog! It's been almost 3months to the date that i have last updated you, my apologies. Well i've been doing a few things. I'm not a famous songwriter yet, but I feel like i'm making great progress! So most recently i went to this major networking event with Def Jam, Sony, Jive and Epic records. It was really cool and i met a lot of great people. Malik Yusef and Burundi Partlow being two important individuals. They both work and know Kanye West personally and actually liked some of my music! So tomorrow i am actually going into the studio to try and work on songs to submit to some industry singers. Keri Hilson, Kelly Rowland and KeKe Palmer (The little sweet Disney Girl) all need songs! I'm excited b/c i feel like i have songs that would fit them all perfectly! Beyonce is looking too of course and I got 3 or 4 i would like to submit to her so oh yea i'm staying on top of these ppl to hopefully, prayfully make something happen. Please Jesus!! My baby boy Gavin is in School now!! Whoo Hoo!! And he loves it! I'm so happy about that! And he is fully pottytrained!! No more pull ups! He's still a delight and my little big man.:) My situation with his dad is still in Limbo. I actually asked him to leave sometime in Aug and he was gone all of 2dam days!..smh.. I went to court though and the judge finally entered a sale date on my property.:( Well it's bittersweet actually. I'm thinking that this may very well be the push i need to get up and out of there, b/c it really is just too much on me and im just tired of dealing with it. Then again it's my home and my baby loves it! So IDK. I'm still working with the Lender to see what can be done, but i'm also still looking for an apartment, so yea which ever one comes through first! It's just been hell trying to find a place with my credit being the eye sore that it is. so prayfully the Lord makes something happen for Gavin and I. I had gotten sick too. I actually have A MD appointment tomorrow to see what the issue is. I pray nothing too serious. So i'll update you more on that. I have been getting a LOT of attention from the opposite sex and you know it feels dam good! lol! Especially since i chopped all my dam hair off Amber Rose style. Well not really. I've always preferred to wear my hair natural this weave thing was something new i was trying and though i'm not totally against weaves i just like my natural hair better.:) So i'm loving all this attention b/c I feel like hey this is what you get with me, you either like it or not and im supper confident with this shit, b/c hell its only hair! So when i get a brother tryna holla it makes me smile b/c im sure he can detect the whole confidence thing.. i'm exuding that shit!..hahahahaha!! I've got a few, but 1 who I'm interested in really and a new potential that i met this morning! Superintendent of the Park District with the City! So yea..pretty impressive. Older 36 Goooooooood. So we shall see. I'm hanging my broke ass out tonight! No straight homes from work! Well that's my piece babes.. Peace:)

I feel like...

2010-06-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

Writing!.. Well typing that is. Well let's see what is new and exciting in the beautiful world of "Deann Dmere"??.. Well me and Dame Dash have been getting along..:) We actually had a conversation lastnight about "MARRIAGE" Yep! Sure did! So as much as that dam boy pisses me off and can be unreliable a LOT of the time, he is still my "Cutie Pie". And with all the shit i've done hell, him still wanting to marry me and make me his wife is all the validation i need to know that he loves me unconditionally! I'm no saint, but I'll make a great wife! All us women envision getting married one day..being made a wife and taking on their husbands lastname. I'm no different. I definitely believe in marriage and what it symbolizes wholeheartedly so all "Extra-Curricular Activities" will have to be alleviated!..lbs.. We're also keeping the house. We're getting a few walls knocked down and stuff to make it more comfortable for us. I'm glad that we're trying to work more together than apart. We can accomplish so much more.. I linked up with Issac on Friday. He's the guy who has his own record label. "Windy City Records" I basically went out to his studio to listen to some tracks, because the producer cat that he's been telling me about wasn't there. So i listened to a few and actually one of the tracks fits one of my songs, entitled "Waiting So Long". Eventho it fits, it's not really an attention grabber and that's what I need.."Attention Grabbers". So I stayed out there for about an hour, listening to tracks and letting him hear some of my material. We made another appointment for Sunday at noon, b/c that's when the producer would be there. Sure enough Sunday at noon arrives and I call Issac to confirm and he's telling me some other shit! Talking about 3 or 4oclock! You don't know what the hell I got going on! Be professional geez! Don't tell me one thing and then do another! I wouldn't have even known the time was changing hadn't I called his ass first!.So needless to say that I didnt hook up with him and haven't heard from him either..oh well. Dam why can't i hook up with some good legitimate producers to save my life?!! I'm thinking of buying a dam ticked to California and just going down there and buss out in song on the fucken corner! I've got a better chance of getting signed to a publishing deal that way, than dealing with all these loosers! I had spoken to the A&R guy "Kevin Shine" with Jive Records a few weeks ago with his bitch ass! He had me send him some of my songs via e-mail, only to NOT reply back to me damn jerk! How rude!! Ugh!! Some of these people have got to be a product of PPP, because they are severely lacking in the manner's department! Speaking of Rude, I talked to "Big Man" a little bit last week. I sent him a link to the article i wrote in 'Yea She Said It" Magazine. He left a comment and told me that he liked it..:) However his "rudeness" meter went up a notch when he failed to reply to my email. *Kanye Shrug it's cool..im more than over him. He did mention to me how i inspire him..:) and that he was actually thinking of writing a book and that he would be going back to school this year! That is GRAND!!..Good luck with all that Big Man.. I'm sure he'll do well though..he's a smart cookie..:)) So it's almost quitting time and I have to make this long journey home to my baby boy (Gavin) and my Fiance' (Damien) Oooh that even sounds nice.. "My Fiance"..hahahah!!! Well let me not jump the ship cause i need a rock first and not no baby one that i gotta squint both my damn eyes to see!..lol!! He made a great Italian dinner last night and now it's home for fried Chickenwangs tonight!!..Whoo Hoo!!! Well that's my piece on this beautiful Tuesday.. Peace!..

Piss Poor Parenting And You

2010-06-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Piss Poor Parenting And You

I cried...

2010-06-22T14:43:00.001-07:00

Last nite. I was hurting and lonely and pissed all rolled into one! Well for a brief recap..let me see here.. Well i havent been talking to Pythian. (Gavin's Grandad) because we had got into it one day a few weeks ago. While Damien was out of town he still had to come by the house and pick the baby up for me so i could work. Well one day upon bringing, Gavin home I asked him of he could just come in the morning b/c I have to leave out by at least 8am to make it to the gig at 9:30. So anyway the next day 8:00 comes and goes and no Pythian. So then i call and ask him, "Where are you?" he tells me grumpily "I'll be there in a minute" So i wait and wait and wait and look at the clock and it's 8:10!! Finally he arrives and of course im pissed! He doesnt say good morning, or he isnt even remotely apologetic about being late! Clearly he didn't give a shit! Now mind you that i pay his ass 20bucks a day to keep my dam baby!..his OWN dam Grandchild! That shit alone still doesn't sit well with me, but "HEY" tough Titty! I do the shit. So anyway I've got to run for the bus and shit and before i got on it he was still loading Gavin into the car, well i hollered out, "If i've got to pay you $20 a day to keep Gavin, I'mma need you to be on time!" Sure did..yea i said it..now what?!. So he calls my cell while im on the bus asking, "What you say?" So this is where the arguing began and resulted in me ultimately hopping back off the bus trucking it back home, called off and told him to bring me my gat dam baby!!! These mofo's betta stop playin with me and mine!!... The tears from lastnite stemmed from just plain o'le frustration! Damien never makes me feel speacial and im just exhausted with this whole tumulous relationship! That's one thing that big Country nicca did do and I can give him that!.. (Big Man) he sure did know how to make a bish feel special. I mean with all the giftcards and candies and flowers he would send me for no reason at all!..that muthafucker had my head swimming!..lol.. Oh well.. moving on... Yea i still aint talked to that crazy azz Chrissy... and don't really plan on it either...her attitude just sucks ass! I went and performed back at Checkerboard last Tuesday. It was dead as fuck!..and now Zamien's bright azz call himself flirting with me..lol....boy bye! I killed it tho. I performed "Rockstar" and my girl Alesha was in the house showing support. We all went out last weekend as a matter of fact for Alesha's birthday. She had it at the "Green Dolphin"..(Never Again!!) just tooooooooo ghetto! My gosh I love my people, but I really like the diverse crowds. We rocked it anyway and had a good ol'e fashioned Glamour Girl time!.:) I also had gotten up with Shelita (Chyna Beach) a few times last week and blew something.. She still on the same ole "slut" shit..lol..sorry but it's true! Hey who am I to judge do you mama! Gavin my baby boy is the light of my life! I know that he loves me for sure if nobody else does. He 's getting sooooo big!! i swear he grows every night! childcare is taking it's sweet time with processing my paperwork..smh..assholes! He is soooo ready to be in school and i'm ready to get him in there. Father's day was just this past Sunday and I got Dame some nice shoes and a shirt. He went out of course..smh..any reason to drink and smoke. Oh well that's all I've got to vent about right now.. I'll be back sooner than lata!.. Chow!

What's New & Exciting part deuce!

2010-06-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

Oh I wasn't done...lol! I had a few more things to talk about. So just if i do get some spontaneous random readers i want to clarify something. My relationship with Gavin's dad is a very difficult one. We have been together for years and years and years and I am only 27..lol! Seriously tho. i just don't want the random reader to think i'm some slut bucket b/c i'm not. As of now and about 5 years me and him have only been together for convenience. Sad i know but true. And now since Gavin is in the mix even more so, but i'm about to change all that in a hot minute so stay tuned... So back to what i was about to say.. So remember Tommy?? My Cutie Pie Nigerian friend. Well he contacted me out the blue about a month ago. we chatted and i was so... elated to hear from him, b/c our little encounter was brief but nasty!..lol! No not raunchy nasty meaning the ending was nasty. You know i tear heads off with this tongue of mine..lmao but vvs.. So anyway he's such a charmer and so am i so i met him afterwork once and we hung out til about 2am. I was tired as shit b/c i had to work the next day. He pissed me off yet again!! Waiting on his big head ass brother and shit. I'm like. "Dude can i get the fuck outta here?!!" He gave me $50 and I hailed a cab i was pissed! Just because i was looking forward to the ride home with him you know?.. Just jerks. So i talked to him here and there, but was just done with his whole "I be busy" attitude. Well so am I dude, so get the fuck on and don't call my ass nomore! That's how we fix that.. Then around the same time I bumped back in to Tommy i was walking back from Nordstroms to work when i spotted this other nice looking guy. So i did what I do and smiled and said , "Hey there" or something like that. Anyway long story short we exchanged numbers. His name is Marcus and he was pretty cool. We went out and had Drinks a few times, a concert, movies shit like that. Now this muthafuka is getting frisky! I'm like dam!! WTF!! I ain't going. For one he's lame as hell!!..lol!! Total square, but you know sometimes you need a square in ya life. Besides they have their pro's and con's. He open's doors and pays for everything without a problem. He cant dress for shit tho and is just an overall nerd! So it looks like i'mma have to cut him off too. I also went to the "Wild Hare" a few weeks ago with my buddy "Say-So" and i met some guy up there. "Harry" Anyway i think he just wanted to hit my reefer, but it was all good. Anyway I had him take me home and when my duck ass gets out the car i left my friggin phone! So when i finally do get it back from him, i go thru it and it's pics of him and shit and pics of his TV..feet just dumb shit! i'm like WTF?? Freaky so he never got a call from me either. The thing is this muthafuka couldn't take the hint! He kept calling and calling and texting and leaving messages..Go away crazy ass dam! Okay let me inhale this polish sausage...nooo people get your minds out the gutta!!!..lol!! That's my Piece Peacceeee

Whats New & Exciting??

2010-06-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well quite a few things. Umm..let's see.. As of now im still at home with Damien.. (Eh) but it's been great for the last 8days!..lol. Well that's only b/c his ass has been in MIA living it up!..Good have fun we all deserve some. Me and Gavin had a smashing good time, just enjoying oneanother's company. He loves his mama, if noone else does. I'm still at a halt with my music and thangs, but that's okay. I've decided that eventhough writing and creating is what makes me come alive, I need to focus more on immediate things so that, everything can start to flow accordingly. Like for one an apartment! I've got to get out of that dam house as soon as possible! Once i'm nice and comfortable in my new place and finally get Gavin in a school then i can start to focus more on my writing, because right now i just get frustrated and flustered and start to think that it wont happen for me. I can't allow those types of thoughts to enter my brain i know...but sometimes they do. I found out last week that an old friend of mine is expecting..smh.. What the hell right?? She is the absolute last person IMO that needs to be having a dam baby! First off she doesn't even like children and has absolutely no problem with relaying that to you and her own children for that matter. Secondly, she hasn't even been in Georgia a full year yet and she's already knocked up by some ninja! Then she says that he "Tricked her"..lmao!! Girrrrrrl get that shit the fuck outta here! Who you think you talking too?.. Boo Boo the Fool? Aint no nigga's "Trying" to get chicks knocked up! She sounded like a plum fool telling me that mess. Then she's what 33 or 34 about to have a dam baby! Starting all over again??..The Fuck!!. So i ask was she gonna stay down there in Georgia or what? She says, "Oh no i'm coming back home, i'mma need some help" Girl!! WTF! So you having some nigga's baby who is in Georgia and now you gonna pull the baby boy back out of school and bring him back to Chicago so that you can have some help with your new little bastard child?? Lord help her. But all i did was say "Oh" and "Okay" but im sure she could sense my disdain about the whole situation.. Get yo ass a pet if you want something to just have for showcasing and playing, but babies are real and they deserve love and attention two things that i've never witnessed her give her children..sorry but it's the truth. Oh well..it's her life.. I'll be praying for that baby tho.. I talked to Big Man today. I sent him a good morning picture text of myself on yesterday and we talked briefly. I dont know what the fuck it is about that muthafucka! But i swear my heart wont turn him loose. As hard as I try it just wont go away. He said he's gonna send me some money to come to birthday Bash 06/19.. that's where he'll be.. Pray for me.. That's my Piece Peace

Rockstar.

2010-05-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

Heeeey Nah!... *poplocks

2010-04-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

I'm stoked!!.. So my mom texted me late last nite telling me that she had heard, on the radio all day yesterday that Steve Harvey would be sponsoring a showcase at the Regal Theater on Thursday, which is ummm tomorrow! You know my ass jumped right on it! So I found out that they are only accepting the first 300 individuals to audition. I've got to be there super early, cause i've just got to get in there! I'm gonna sing my dam heart out! I'm gonna get that publishing deal one way or another. And my manager Paul is soooo... accomodating and supportive! He let me have the whole day off without any problems..so sweet of him.:) I wont forget you Paul when I make it!..LBS.. On another note I got approved for the apartment in Hyde Park Whoo Hoo!.. Well Damien did actually b/c my credit is shot at this point, but either way im excited because i am sooooooo...ready to get out that dam house! Citimortgage can come and air lift that b*tch off the ground if they want too!.. It's just too many hassles, bills and repairs when dealing with a house! Knowing what i know now, i'll be much wiser going in the second time around... I'm pondering on what song i should sing on tomorrow?. "Make U Mine" is my baby and I always sing it so well to me, but "Waiting In Vain" is just so emotional all the way thru that it's bound to give someone chills. So IDK just yet..i've gotta get home in the mirror and practice..lol... I went to the movies lastnite and saw that "Death at a Funeral" really could have waited until it came out DVD..but that dam show is just so phucken nice! High as hell, but nice nonetheless. Oh well thats my piece for today beautiful peoples...Peace..

*Sighs...

2010-04-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm in such a foul mood today! Lord help me!..I've been crying all dam day and the shit is doing nothing but giving me a fucken headache!!! My life is at a halt! I don't know what the fuck I'm s'pose to be doing when it comes to my so called "Relationship". I have the same dam argument with his ass all the time! Every time i think that we can work it out and salvage what we have, something happens to make me want to leave his ass all over again!. Now even before Gavin was born the argument was always the same. His ass wants to go outside every fucken day and sleep the dam day away when he is home. Like WTF is that! So things are no different than they were 11yrs ago! He's not supportive about any of my writings and he's immature as hell! I cant have an adult conversation with his ass w/o him giggling like a gat dam school girl! So i've posted some videos of myself singing some of my material acapella on Youtube. Everyone was so phyched about it! Especially his mother. So yesterday I pull up the "Youtube"and show him and he says nothing of course. Then i show him a new video that i had just uploaded the nite before. I was performing a song entitled "Anything" and before i went into the song i stated, "I wrote this for "Damien" years ago". Do you know what this muthafuka does? He laughs!! Yes! Laughs right in my fucken face! Like that gat dam school girl!..How insensitive is that?? That is my support system..like seriously. That shit hurt my fucken feelings, but do you think he gave a shit?..No! Then i asked, "What the fuck are you laughing about?" he says, "I'm just saying, why you put me on blast like that and yadda..yadda..yadda.." boy shut the fuck up! First of all aint nobody checking for your duck ass!..and secondly you should be flattered that i made a song for you nimrod! I can see if i was bashing the nigga in the song, but i was giving him props and saying that he could get "Anything" from me b/c he's so good! So yea this is the type of dumbshit i gots to deal with at home!.. Then lastnite he just haaaad to get his ass out the house! I'm like RUS?? Dam! What you think you gonna miss something out there in the street?. I was just baffled b/c we had just had an argument about the same shit the day before and he goes and do the same shit again??.. So i text him and say, "You make me sick!" He says, "I'm dropping Ken off too his car..I'm on my way!" Fuck Ken!!! You got shit at home that you need to get in order! I dont give a dam about no muthafucking Ken! Then he calls and I don't answer, so he text me some bullshit saying, "Dont be mad, it just be tight situations, you just need to understand." lol!!! Boooooooy you got me twisted inside and out! What the fuck do i need to understand huh?.. That your lil boy ass would rather rip and run the streets all dam day and night than spend time with your family?. That taking Ken to his fucken car is more important than Gavin and me??. I didn't even respond to that shit..b/c had i did, it wouldn't have been pleasant.. Then "Big Man" is smelling himself as usual. I sent him a random text one night lastweek some sweet shit. I dont know why i keep playing my own dam self when it comes to him, b/c i know he's a fucken asshole!..IDK..I guess eventhough I don't like his ass..my hearts still in love with him. Well anyway I sent his ass a text like 1:30am my time 2:30am his time. I knew he would be sleep, but that was fine cuz he would just get it when he woke up in the a.m. Plus we use to do this type of shit all the time. So i text, "Im thinking about you.". So the next day i gets nothing. No call..no text. So I text his big head ass, like "Hey You." He finally returns that text like 2 fucken hrs later! Such a gat dam fuckboy! I'm like, did you not get my text lastnight?.. "Oh yea I was dead sleep".."Umm i figured that, but thought that you hadn't received it since, i didn't get a reply." "I did reply sweetheart". Liar!!!! Not to this one..cuz I didn't get shit!. So i move on to something else. Letting him know i'll be in ATL for "Birthday Bash" this year and asked would I be able to see his face.. The muthaphuka ignores me again and that was it.. i went in!!!!.. Told his ass, "Why must you be so dam rude??! A simple I'm busy would suffice! What you think you too good to talk to me or sumthin?.. He's like, "Just b/c i reply late?.." i'm like, "Or not at all!"..You're just to dam rude for me..forget it!..He's like, "Okay". What the fuck Eva with all these punk ass niggas! I swear they get on my last fucken nerve!!!!!! OOOh weee i need to blow this spot asap and get me a blunt and a drink!!!!!! okay lata.

Me Rapping and singing some of my material..

2010-04-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

I'm Sick!!

2010-03-12T09:15:00.000-08:00

Somebody help me!.. My silly ass went out west lastnite to get my butta's whipped and ended up stopping in this lil candy store. They had alllll the old school candies and cookies and shit and so i purchased a few things. One being, "Hot Crunchy Curls" with nacho cheese and ground turkey! I know it sounds horrid, but it was actually good. So now today i am suffering BIGTIME!! Like running off and vomiting i'm like WTF?? Then my little babe Gavin is still not feeling well..:(. The MD diagnosed him with a "Upper Respitory" infection and he was getting fevers and had no appetite..i was scared to death! Now that the fever's have subsided he is now running off! He's such a little guy and i dont want him to get dehydrated, so i've gotta watch that. I pray it's not "Rotovirus" or something like that, b/c that is a very serious virus. I may just take him back to the E.R tonight..cause i've gotta make sure my main man is well.. So as far as my "romantic life" goes, it's pretty non-existant!. The new "Bo" that i met before i went out of town turned out to be a douche bag as well! Gat Dammit! I cant win for loosing with these muthafuckas!..Nigerians and all. Brief background: I went out and kicked it with him a few weeks ago and had a fucken blast! I mean he's charming too boot!.. and very attentive and stuff while im in his presence. I hooked up with him after work like on a Thursday and didn't make it home til about 2am..we had a ball!!.. But i end up leaving my phone at the bar up north where we were and had him go back and get it. I told him to just bring it down to my job in the a.m.. So when this nicca come to my gig, his face is all screwed up and shit and he's just acting all strange. So i put two and two together and figured he had to have went thru my phone. But when i got the phone there was nothing in it that was incriminating, so i wasn't sure what was with all the attitude. Unless he was ballsy enough to delete my shit! So basically everything went downhill from there. He stopped texting me..lol! And then when i text him he would reply hrs later, or sometimes just not at all. I must have missed the conversation when we decided that we were "Exclusive"..like WTF dude..i'm just really meeting your ass. So i send him some text about how he's being rude and yadda..yadda..yadda..that this will be my last time contacting his ass b/c i aint got time to chase no nicca! He then replies well fine! Have fun with your American and Jamaican boyfriend!.. Yep! He went thru my phone!..lol!.. How he know about my Jamaican friend??.. Lata for you dude, too much drama much too soon.. So yea another one bites the dust!... Bigman left me a msg on TRD saying "I like that profile pic sweetheart..sing me a song!"..lol Silly boy. I still got mad love for "BigMan" but i'm for sure not going backward. I'm focusing on me and my babe. Fucc all these niccas..cause they'll be there. I just gotta focus on getting me and Tuna out that sham of a house and work more on my music..gettting a demo and shit. All these niccas gone look like shit when i'm in Hollywood!..hahaha..whateva nicca right a "Tell All" book or some shit about me!..hahahah Kay that's my piece on this Friday Morning.. Peace.

Hey there!

2010-01-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

So what's new & exciting in the world of ERICA??..Nuthing extreme thats for sure. I've just been working and living and laughing and smoking and singing and writing and playing and praying! And speaking of praying I REALLY I mean REALLY want to work on my relationship with the Lord! I haven't been to church in quite some time and I miss it terribly! I miss that feeling that I have once i'm walking out of church. It soooo sucks not having a car or not even knowing how to drive for that matter! So that is definately on my list of things to do in 2010. I gotta get me and Gavin a ride quick!..b/c his daddy works my dam nerve so much that we cant be in the same space for too long. Like this morning I over slept and had him bring me to work, he all but had a dam baby about the shit! Always pissing and moanin and I dont even ride in that dam car! And its amazing how everytime im in the bitch he needs "Gas Money" Nicca get the hell outta my face! I'm your child's mother for one and for two we live together!! I aint giving yo ass nothing! But see i was nice today and when he pulled up to my gig i handed him a $20 and said "Thanks, here cry baby". You know this fool thew my money on the seat like it wasnt shit and didn't bother to say thanks. He lucky i didnt haul off and slap his ass like i'm sure Rhianna did in that passenger seat of young Chrissy's car, but instead i fixed his money hunrgy ass and politely took my shit back! Then he gets to hollering all out the window, "Well at least give me $5 for gas for having to come all the way down here!." Ummmm..NO! Had your ass acted right you would have had the whole 20! I carried my ass in the building w/o looking back at his ass.. So i'm going to ATL for my bday! Yeeeea boi! Chrissy (Charisma) is out there and we're gonna have us a funky good time! I'm ready lord knows I am! I need a break from this madness. I'll be making a stop in "Florida" tho before i make it to her..hehehehe.. i know i know..but i'm "ME" and the last time i checked i do what i want! He doesn't even know i'll be there...but oh he will. Let's just call it a "Hooch Stop"..lol..a lil well actually a BIG birthday present to myself..:))))) kay lata..chow!

I'm sooo Excitied..yes again!

2010-01-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

And i just cant hide it!!!! :)))) Hey there! Long time no font!..i know i know..but anyway update! So i've been going crazy on the Open Mic shit. I've just been doing them any dam way fuck it! I'm like I know i'm the writer, but i know that i can sang too, so why not sing them so that the songs can gain exposure you know?? Well anyway, most recently I went and did an open mic showcase at The Checkerboard" lounge in Hyde Park. This guy that I grew up with "Zamien" cute ass invited me out and so i went. I performed my baby, "Make U Mine" and you know i killled it!!!!..lmao!! They loved it!.. and showed me much much love! My mom even suprised me and came out for support, her and her Friend Annette. It was grand! Thats a nice spot too. They had nice strong $5 drinks all nite and food as well, the crowd was nice and sophisticated also. So i'll definately be back. I've gotta work on my voice tho, b/c a lot of the songs i've composed sound better if sung on a much higher note that I can attain myself, but hell i'mma try! Anyway after I was done this chick came up to me and wanted to know if i had any management. Real cute lil chick, of course I used "Isolated Music Ent" my lil cousin's name just so that she didnt think a sistah was out here all loosey goosey tho i am..lol. But all my shits copywritten anyway so, i'm cool. Well that was Tuesday and i hadn't talked to her yet. So i just got off the phone conversing with her for a bit about the things that she does and the industry folks that she's worked with. She does PR work for Def Jam and she's contracted with Jive records doing PR work for them as well. She mentioned the A&R executive "Kevin Shine" and of course my ass googled him..lol..so it's legit! Anyway she says that he's out in ATL now, but wants to see if we can arrange a date and time so that i can meet with him and let him hear my songs!!!! GREAT!!!! HELL YEA WE CAN! :)))) I'm soooo elated!! I pray that this is the contact that i've been waiting for. Usually I only get men who come up to me asking if i need a producer..yadda..yadda..yadda..but never a female. So i felt more comfortable and was able to turn down the charm a bit and be more about business. So prayfully i'm on my way, so me and my lil man Gavin can get the hell outta here!!!..Whoo Hoo!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!

I'm so Excited!!!!

2009-12-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

Hey hay hay!!.:) Yes i am excited! I must pat myself on the back for doing some major networking! It feels good! :) Update. Well Christmas was great! Gavin got a lot of cool things and i was sooo appreciative! My boss was trying to let me up out this peice at 6:30 on Christmas Eve, i was like oh-no! I've gotta hit the stores before they close and shit and they closed at 6:00! So thankfully he let me go at 4pm and so i was able to make it happen for my babe. I tell you this money dont last i promise! I've got to do something else hell. You work 2wks for a check that be gone in 2hrs!..smh. Well my good friend Chrissy was here for the holiday and we had a smashing good time like always. I can't wait to go down to Georgia and have a ball with her.:) As far as the networking goes, i was able to make a really good contact with Jennifer Hudson. We went to school together, but she was a year over me, but her cousin and I were cool. Well i reached out to her cousin on FB and fowarded my vocals to her and asked her to let Jennifer hear them. She text me today stating that she was going to make the pitch to Jenn for me tonite! *Crosses fingers, legs and eyes and toes!..lol! I told her beautiful and thank you ever so much! I think my song "Make U Mine" would be good for her, so we shall see. I also have been all ova the internet setting up all kinds of accounts and have been creating a lil buzz around my name "Deann Dmere" so i'm happy about that as well. My girl Alesha hooked me up with this producer/songwriter who wrote the song "Anything" for 112 and so i'm s'pose to link up with him Friday. I've been on the internet trying to locate the musician "Monica"'s manager. Her name is Melinda Dancil and she's her manager/aunt. I wanna pitch the song "Make U Mine to Monica with the video concept from So-Gone, like she's seeing Derek Luke's fione ass with another woman and all she wants is to make him her's again. Then they could like show clips of the old video and shit, maaaaaaan that'll be a hit! so i've got some numbers and stuff and i'm gonna be placing some calls.:) I perform tonite actually at this open mic with my cousin's friend "Dilly". He's the producer who's arranging beats for my vocals. He lost his mom rececently so it's been taking some time, which is understandable. He did tell me that he should have them completed tho, by Monday, so that's good... "Floridian" sent me a msg yesterday on the site. Yea i know right..funny! Anyway his message goes, "No Happy Birthday, No Merry Christmas, dam where's the love??" I was gonna respond but thought NOT!! Let him see how it feels to be ignored. Anyway what the fuck is wrong with your fingers?..You could have wished me a Merry Christmas fool! Fuuuuck you and your birthday! So lata for him, i've got other things I'm focusing on, like making it out this hell! I still haven't heard back from the publisher yet, but i'll give him until after the holidays before i start to bug him..lol. My girl Alesha will be in Vegas for NYE!!..Whoo Hoo!!! Wish i was there, that's okay tho, i'mma bring it in with my main man Gavin...i wouldn't have it any other way! Kay that's my piece for tonight peoples..Peace.

Happy Birthday!!!.. Not! Ha!

2009-12-23T15:26:00.001-08:00

Mean it makes me, oh well i'll be that. Yep today is "His" birthday and he gets no love from me. Sorry but that's the way the cookie seems to be crumbling. I tried to be civil and cordial with that fool really I did, but he pushed me to the limit! I've been online all friggin day and i checked his page and seen that he logged in 4hrs ago. haha! Must have been to check to see if i confirmed that lame ass friend request he sent me. NOT!..gtfoh!! Surely you dont wanna talk to me. For what? And why send me some janky ass friend request online, when you've got my cell number, my work number, my email! Negro please! I'm done with your ass! I'm not playing! He must take me for a joke. And no no boo boo you aint even gotta try harder. No need to send flowers, or me an email or a late night text talking about "Sweetheart" i'm done! He only wants to play and i do that enough with Gavin. I'm about to be 27 almost 30 and i'm tired of playing these fucken games with these lame ass niccas. So fuck you and your birthday dude..cry about it..blog about..or do whateva it is that you country motherphuckas do! No love from this City sistah, cause seriously i'm done with his ass big d*ck and all!...lol Thats my peice peoples..Peace!

Done!

2009-12-18T15:56:00.000-08:00

Yea i know i've said the shit before, but this time i mean it! Yes we're still talking about "him" i mean why does he have to be like a complete 100percent ass jerk! Like really?! My gosh! So just a brief rundown. Again things have been pretty breezy, nothing to heavy and i've been content on keeping it that way. That still doesn't take away from the fact that i wanted some more! Yea we're all adults here i hope. Well anyway. Me being me i get what the hell i want! It's been that way! Aint no shame in my game and the honest to gosh truth is that i want some more of that nicca! But he's acting like a fucken female!!! Ugh!!!! So anyway yesterday evening once i left the gig i placed a call to the "Floridian" only to be shut down once again. He's oh so busy and on his way to a football game. Cool. He says, "Shid just Text me". My reply cool, lata babe. Well i was a bit busy myself once i got home and so I didn't have a chance to text him until i was laying down for the night at like 11:30 my time 12:30 his. I texted, "Tell me something good babe before i go to sleep". You know me Queen Flirt..lol! anyway no reply. Fine figured he was sleep. So today once i return to the gig this morning, i open up the usual sites i visit. You know FB, Concreteloop and TRD as well. Sure enough he's on there, aint said a word. No good morning, i got your text, no hello, just nothing! I dont know who and where they den went and crowned this country bama Jesus, but he initates nothing! Now i didnt either, but replied to a few of his postings on a blog that he commented on. So the day is winding down and it's 3:00pm he leaves at 3:30. So i shoot a msg his way saying, "Whatchu doing ova there huh?" I see i gets no love today..you treat me so bad baby..:(" So his reply is, "Baby i'm so tired its a shame, i'm sorry." Such a crock of shit! He hasnt been to tired to chat on the internet for 8 hrs, but you're too tired to talk to me huh?. Sure. I deleted his ass! Fuck him! I'm tired of giving him the benefit of the doubt! All it seems to be doing is boosting his big ass ego. He really makes me sick. So when i sent the last msg, stating that he hasnt been to tired to talk online all day and how i know he got my text lastnight, he simply ignores me!..lol. Yep! Basically like umm fuck you bitch! So yea fuck you too bitch ass nigga! Tho i did want to do it again physically it doesnt look like it's gonna happen. His attitude sucks major azz and he's too damn rude! Common courtesy is a given and i'm done condoning his rude ass behavior. I was tempted to email or text him again when he didnt respond but decided against it. For what? Clearly i'm an option, or he feels like he has me in the palm of his hand. The only reason why i havent said that he's not interested, because who wouldn't be?..lol vain i know, but hey it's the truth! He wants me, he just doesnt want to let me know and would prefer to keep it to himself and likes that i initiate things with him. It's just confirmation to him that i'm still interested and im sure he loves it. Well i loved the d*ick more than anything. Oh yea and lets not forget that amazing facetime and all the free money! Oh well, it was good while it lasted, but for sure it's dead. He's extremely to pompous and rude and i dont respond well to ignorance. He's lucky i dont live out there, cause this type of shit doesnt happen to me. Had i lived in Florida his ass would have a black and blue eye for acting like a complete jerk!..lol..hell he deserves it. Well that's my ventilation on this Friday Evening. On my way to the x-mas party to get drunk.. Chow!

I'm working tomorrow..

2009-12-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

Ugh! Not looking foward to that, but hey at least i've got a job. Been a minute since i've graced my own blog!..smh.. Well anyway what's new and exciting with me?..Not much. Let me see, well i've been doing some major networking with my writing and I must say that it's slowly paying off!.:) I was off on Monday of this week (The reason why im working Friday) But when i got here on Tuesday I had an email from this publisher based out in Atlanta (Argus O. Milton) who was referred to me from a good friend of mine. I submitted my manuscript to him a few weeks ago and he finally found the time to sit down and take a read. Well to make a long story short he liked it a lot!!:)) Liked it so much that his email stated that he wanted to move foward! Heeey Nah!!!!:)) C'mon publishing deal i can smell you in the air baby!..C'mon to mama! So i am stoked about that! I shared my good news with my FB fam, who of course showed me mad love, :)) Outside of that though, it's kind of disheartning since i didn't have anyone to really celebrate with..:(. Oh well being sad never helped any dam body so moving on... I've been doing some shows at open mic venues as well. I've been going for the most part to show support, but then i always get that "itch" and end up getting my ass on stage..lol! It's a real good feeling tho. And even greater when the crowd likes your material. Of course they liked me..who wouldnt?..:))) I've been hanging with my buddy Say-So (Randon) he's such a cool dude. Never has he tried to come on to me or you know get fresh with me. I appreciate that. I'm not trying to be all cozy with every guy i meet, and i'm glad he recognizes that. Most men think that you wanna sleep with them if you show a form of interest in them. Just goes to show you that its almost 2010 and men still dont have the slightest clue about us women. Him and I have the greatest conversations though about the opossite sex. We usually get together and pick eachother's brain about what women and men want from the other. He's a striving artist as well, so we also kick back and keep the creativity flowing with oneanother. I dont know why I jam better with men than I do with females. I think it's because most females have this huge misconception of me. They think, because i dress nice and spend a little money on my attire That im automatically some money making snob who thinks she's too good, when they couldn't be more wrong. But hey, cant please em all so i don't even try..i just keep it moving. Gavin is getting bigger every single day! And eats every five dam minutes! You'd think i was a millionaire or some shit! I'm trying to get there Gavin baby, cut momma some slack hell! Then he's picky as eva! Never seen a 2 yr old so picky about food. Says he wants pizza. I make pizza then he says, "I dont want it. I want French Fries." So I make fries and then he says "I dont want it. I want hotdog" I make that shit and then he does the same thing! I be like boy!!! You betta eat cuz aint no whole lot of selections poppin off ova here! The state don't give mommy nooo.. assistance with food purchases..yo lil ass gone mess around and starve!..you betta eat!..lol! I love my lil darling Knight tho and oh boy does he love his mommy!:)) My twin nephews turned 1 on the 12th of this month and me and Gavin went to the party. It was nice. I tell you this time waits for noone! That's why i've gotta make it happen sooner rather than later..i will...with the Lords help i will. Oh and I will be in church Sunday this I promise. Kay that's my piece..Peace!

Well..hellloooo there...

2009-11-30T15:59:00.000-08:00

Long time no write! I'm over here bored as eva at this place called work. I had a pretty good extended weekend. The holiday was this past Thursday (Thanksgiving) and Gavin and I went over to my aunt's house (My moms sister) and ate and played cards and stuff the usual. I was beating they azz in "In the Middle" but ended up giving mama (grandma) $40.00 for her birthday, so that was about the majority of the cash i had won that nite. It's all good tho. Gavin was Phresh! You know his mama keeps him duggie! I'm just mad that i didnt get a pic of him. He was soo clingy over to my aunts..he wouldnt let me out of his sight let alone smile for a picture! I know it's b/c he doesn't know them. It's not like any of them reach out to us anyway. I was actually over to my other fam's house (Gina) for the Eve of Thanksgiving. I spent the night and stayed up late with my auntie (Carolyn) and my other mother (Gina) man them people show me and Gavin so much love it's breathtaking! Babysistah was here from school too for the holiday. I ended up staying over to my aunts for the holiday tho and noone got to see me and Gavin in our funky fresh purple rain over at Gina's!..lol.. It's okay next time... Friday morning i got up and went to the studio. I recorded 3 vocals for 3 tracks. So now all i'm waiting for is the production for the songs to be completed, so that i can shuffle them around a bit you know. I also recieved my letter of Registry from the United States Copyright office on Saturday! That's wassup! I'm on my way and i dont plan on stopping til i get there! My old buddy Alesha had a "Ladies nite" on Friday evening that i went too. I ended up staying over b/c we were all wasted and i was blasted! Good times tho.. Saturday me and Dame took Gavin to Chuckee Cheese. Eeew that place was a mad house! Gavin is so uppity..lol! You'd think we lived in a mansion. He didnt want to touch shyt or take off his coat. The place was bombarded with little rugged disheveled looking kids. Me and Dame ended up buying tokens and we played the games..lol! That Mario Cart is fun as hell! I may be investing in a Wii this x-mas. We went to dinner at Baraccos afterward. Sunday yesterday was chill day. I went to target and got some house cleaning and washing stuff. Still gots x-mas shopping to do and i still gotta get a tree! Hell this lil money dont last at all!!! I looked at my account today and was overdrawn 120.00! I was like dayum!!! I dont know why i be swiping this dam debit card like it's a credit card!..lol! Oh well The Lord always makes a way and if not i'll have to pull a few tricks..hehe..no not litterally!..lmao! But you know make some calls... Facebook brings you back together with all the people who you know. :)) I had always had a crush on this guy named "Mario Soloman" and so we exchanged numbers most recently and the conversation was pretty good..light stuff nothing too heavy. I admit that when i had him pick me up he didnt appeal to me the way he used to. So basically i wasn't attracted to his azz when i got to see him but i was still cordial and cool. Just not all over him and flirty like i probably would have had I still thought him to be a looker. I didn't end the convo and the text's and stuff tho...i kept the lines of communication open. Then one day last week he text me like, "Im thinking about you". I reply, ":) What about me" He then says, "I'm trying to see when you gonna let me bake them cakes!" WHAT! Delete you fool! The nerve of these guys!! Dam! I mean like are u serious. He's been texting me and i've been ignoring his azz. I dont respond well to ignorance (Chrissy) and so i rather say nothing than to chew his azz out! Last Wed before the Holiday i sent "him" my book to read the completed copy, but he's toooo scetchy with me in email convo. It's like pulling teeth to try to get a conversation flowing, so i'm like lata dude! Shiiid you aint gotta talk to this one if you dont want to babe. I did my part already by reaching out and that's all i'm gonna do! No kissing ass will be happening. I sent a "Happy turkey Day " text to all my contacts "him" included. I recieved the same wish back from all but him. He's such an asshole. His arrogance is just a mask for his insecurities. Oh well let someone else worry about all that. I was just looking to be cool and possible get another taste..*wags tongue..lol! But he's phucking that up!..Geesh..i tell you these clown ass nicca's! Oh well i still got 2 that love me to pieces (Dame and Gavin) well i'm sure it's more than that, but the others let pride get in the way.. That's my piece peoples... Peace..

TGIT!!!

2009-11-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

Yes sir! B/c today is my Friday dammit! So for a lil update. I've been on a creative frenzy! I've been making some goodie good songs! I must admit myself and toot my own horn a bit.."tooot..toot!"..lol. I'm feeling pretty good. No real complaints. My last post was talking about me deading all the grudge issues I had with ppl. Charisma (Chrissy) was one that i failed to mentioned. Chrissy is well was a "Special" friend of mine and she and I would alllllllways bump heads. We would get along great for about 6 months and then BOOM!!!!...shit would blow the hell up and we would have the worst arguments. Well anyway when i put and end to all the other shit with My mom and Sly, she was also on my list of ppl to contact to get back right with. So i emailed her. Come to find out her azz has up and moved to Atlanta!! Like dam! She seems to be doing fantastic!..:) She's got her boys with her which is grand and seems to have truly found her happy place. Now i've got another place to go visit..hehehe. I've talked to my mom here and there and I plan on going over there soon me and Gavin you know to spend some much needed time with her. The conversation with Sly is light and easy. Good. Nothing to heavy. I'm soooo not trying to get back in that place that I was with him. Because the reality of the situation is that, that nigga lives in Florida! So me falling in love/lust or whatever is pointless. So i'm good with keeping it breezy and he seems to be okay with it as well. My aunts party was fun! It's always a great time hanging out with the fam. Me and my sister be dancing all dam nite! We had a good ol'e funky time. I be having to remind my water head ass uncle that im his neice! He's been locked down for 17yrs and most recently came home and is just too overly sexual in everything he does! Even his looks look dirty. I be having to tell him, "nigga i'm yo dam neice back the hell up!" But it's all good he just be needing a reminder sometimes. My cousin had some producer cats over at the party and I wooooed them with my writing skills. We set up some dates for this weekend actually to try and link up. I'm gonna have to reschedule that though, b/c i'm going to see Auntie in Virgina tomorrow morning! She goes for her second round of Chemo and needs somebody down there. I felt bad that i had told her waaaaaaay in advance that i would come and then today i talked to her and told her i wouldnt be able to get there. She was pissed!! She actually cursed at me which she's never did. So i shelled out a few dollars for the ticket and i'm gonna go see my aunt tomorrow..:)) She's always been there for me and all the rest of us, so it's only right to be there for her. I cant wait to see her too..I miss her! I was going to take Gavin, but i really dont want to. He's just getting over a cold himself. Plus i lied and told the reservationist on the phone that he was 1..lol. I would hate to go to the airport and then they be like, "Um ma'am you need a ticket for your child". Shiiiiid they was trying charge me $228.00 for a 2 yr old! Not me. So IDK i'll have to talk to Dame tonite and see what we can do... Alright that's it thats all I'm blowin this candy shop...TTYS... :))

I Feel Good!!..:))

2009-11-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

Soo..to give you an update! Today was my first day back after being out an entire week ( ooh my check is gonna be so short!) However i am feeling a lot better. I called my mom and just deaded the whole issue with she and I and we are now back talking.:)) and i'm happy about that. I wanted so bad to go to church on Sunday, but missed it and just needed to channel all this anger i was harboring elsewhere. I was kind of glad i did miss church though, b/c it was Holy Communion and you know how dangerous it is, to drink and eat on that holy day and have anger in your heart towards someone. I hadn't cleared the air with my mom yet and eventhough i've denied it even to my own self, I was still angry at Big Man... So I actually sent him a text. Just to dead all that shit with him too..and it feels great! :) I was just tired of being mad and it really wasnt doing anything for me so..i let it go. I hung out with my old bestie Glenda on yesterday. Oh how i've missed her! She and I always jammed good together. Got us something to drink on..i had my lil supplement and we caught up..riding.. Rode out west..rode down on my uncle..yea good stuff! On the homefront things are.."eeeh" that's all i can say or would like to say about that. My Darling Gavin was Spiderman for Halloween. I know so cliche' but hey he's a kid dammit! I was too dam sick to do anything with him tho, so super Grandma "Graham" as we call her Gina saved the day and took my baby out. I would be completely and utterly lost without that woman. My Gosh!..She just don't know how much she's appreciated..i'm gone have to show her..she's got a bday coming up. She took Gavin out and said when he knocked on the door and said "Trick or Treat" the lady asked "So who are you s'pose to be?" He says, "Gavin"..lol that's right baby..you're you and I wouldn't have it any other way..:)) My aunt is having a party for her bday next Saturday..no kids allowed!..Whoo hoo! I loves the kids..yes i loves the chiren, but it's sooooo...many of them! I've got a hundred lil cousins and them together is a headache. So being w/o them for an evening is right on time...i'm ready! :))

Pissy!!!

2009-10-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

I'm here of course at this place called work. I'm pissed off right about now, but i'll get into that a little later. Just for a recap on the weekend, it was pretty grand! Friday i went to Vidal Sassoon and spent $230.00 on a perm and a nice little pixie cut! I know it was expensive, but the service was great and i actually like the style. I'll definately be going back. I purchased some nice carndigans for Dame for sweetest day and it felt good doing that for him since he's been trying so hard. I always liked shopping for him(I always do a better job than he does). Saturday i chilled out with my lil man and we're getting some work done on our house and it's coming along.:)) I also called my crazy ass sister and deaded the whole "Drama" thing with her about me and my mom's feud. We talked for quite a while. Me and her i sooooo much alike that it scares me sometime. Yesterday Dame and I took Gavin to the Shedd Aquarium to see, "Fantasea." It's a show that's held in the Oceanarium and displays the jumping dolphins and penguins and Ulga whales..he loved it!! And so did Damien's over-grown ass..lol! I had to pull him away from a few of the exhibits b/c he was so engrossed in them. We finsihed it off with dinner downtown and it was really nice. I told him we need to get in the habit of doing things with Gavin "Together" more often. He agreed. Gavin just loves to see us together..it's amazing... So I also called my mom. She didn't answer and so i left her a message apologizing for speaking to her so harshly the week before. Told her that i think that we really need to talk, b/c i for sure still have some un-resolved issues from the past..when she put me out at 15 and choose her now deceased husband (RIP) over her children. I'm guessing Tameca (my sis) has moved on from this. She was 18 at the time, but me i was just a baby. And noone knows all the things that i had to endure at that age to survive. The thing that hurts the most probably is b/c she never said she was sorry. Or she's never said why...or how she could do that to her child. I spoke with her about 30 mins ago and just asked why she even felt the need to discolse to me that amount of $ she had and then to go on andtell me how much she was giving someone else's child. I said, "Ma you didnt have to tell me that. And then for you to get angry when i ask for $100.00. I said, so if i came into 15,000 and didnt give you a dime, would you be upset?" "Naw"..she replied, more like lied! Because i'm sure she would be. I would never do that tho. It's more than about money to me though, just the principal that she wouldn't even consider giving or even want to give. IDK. She ended up hanging up again and so did I. I'm sorry to say it, but i'm done. I just know what kind of mother to "NOT" be to my child...never a selfish one.

Raining Love...

2009-10-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

So i am like loving that! I'm woking on coming up with lyrics and making that a new song. Yea..i actually like that a lot. So i'm still at this place called "work" and i've got another 1 1/2 to go..uuggh!!! Working 10hr days in this camp is driving me bananas! When i make it to the crib I am usually beyond tired! All i usually have time for is a quick bite and off to bed to do this shit all over again. Last night when i came home though Damien did have dinner cooking and he ran me some bath water. That was nice..:) He's really trying. My lil man Gavin be so happy to see his mama...just makes me beam inside. I just wish i had more time to spend with him you know.This is why I KNOW i've got to make something happen. This 9-5 well technically this 8-6:30 shit is for the birds! Dont get me wrong i'm more than thankful for the job, but really i cant see myself doing this for the rest of my days. So this is why i'm gonna work on "Raining Love" tonight on my way home and make it HOTT!!! *Chow

Time heals all wounds...

2009-10-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

Aint that the truth! I was sitting here reading over some of my older post and it is simply amazing what a little time would do. Well for a quick update, my childs father (Damien) and I have reconciled. And "yes" it's a good thing..:) We had a mature adult conversation and both agreed that our relationship of 12yrs now is definately worth preserving. We're working together financially to get some much needed updates on the crib. My "Darling Knight" (Gavin) will be starting daycare this month and so we're all excited about that. He's getting soo.. big!! I swear he seems to grow overnight. So for the most part things at home are pretty good..:) Last Wed, though my mom pissed me off. She's came into $15,000 and when i asked her for $100.00 measly bucks (since 2weeks had passed and she hadnt offered a dime) she flies off the handle, screams "No" and hangs up in my face! Like WTF??? Like forreal?..You cant give me $100.00 and at least say it's for your grandchild?..just amazing! I don't know what kinda momma i got! That's like me getting 15,000 and not hitting her. I would never do that! But you know what i wasn't suprised. She stopped playing mommy to me when I was 15, but that's a whole different story on a whole different day... My music writing career is looking up!..:) I entered the VH1 "Save The Music" contest in August and though i didn't win 1st place i did win "Runner Up". They get submission from all over the world so that to me is a pretty big dam deal! I'm on my way..i can feel it in my bones..i know the Lord 's got a plan for me!. *Chow

Im good...f*ck that..GREAT!

2009-08-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hay!!.. I must say, that i am officially over that looser. (Thank Heavens!) Yep no need to even log on to TRD actually. I have moved on and it feels fantastic! I wish him the best in all his endeavors..(not!)..lol But needless to say, i'm good...the kid has bounced back and i'm not bitter in the least bit! My heart is still big is all outdoors and it's in the right place..:))) *chow

So I broke!!!

2009-07-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

and contacted his ass. I know..i know, but in all honesty i thought that he was commenting about me, when he replied on a "Blog" that someone posted on a different site. Now he already has slandered my name and exposed everything that we did on the internet for all to see. So the wordage he used in his comment rubbed me the wrong way. I just knew that it was about me. So i texted him asking if he was refferring to me and he says, "Girl i was not talking about you. Im not thinking about you. You must just wanted to text me." Now i would be lying if i said his words didnt sting. It would be like a dagger in my young heart to know that he really hasnt been thinking about me. But me being me, refuses to believe that. I'm sure i impacted his life just as much as he did mine. Any hopes of us reconciling is dead tho. Of course i can never just let things go. I've got to have a bigger bite and this is where the text arguing started. Im seriously thinking about shutting down my page. That boy just hurted me so bad, and i was mad at myself b/c i believed him and trusted him and he played me. Crazy cause i was playing other guys for him b/c i liked him so much. Hearing him tell me he loved me and doing all the things that he did for me, it's just so hard too just forget about him. Well maybe this will make it easier, because i swear on everything i love that i will not contact this man again. I pray that he gets what he deserves tho, for messing with women's feelings like this...

What if i dont...

2009-07-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

Wanna forget him. What if i secretly hopes that he calls me and that we can be back tight like we were...what if i dont want to get over him? What if i dont want him to forget about me? I miss him soooo...much! And though it's becoming easier to deal with not talking to him anymore, i still miss him something awful! Why? We he was such a fucking jerk to me! When its clear that he is nothing but a lying asshole! Maybe it's because he wasnt all bad...he was real good to me actually...thats before the lie surfaced. I just feel like it was all for nothing. I should have known right from the start that he would go and break my heart....

Introducing Myself...ahem..

2009-07-08T12:17:00.001-07:00

Hello beautiful peoples!! I am Deann Dmere and i am here to vent about everythang!..From my not so great relationship with my childs father of 11 dam years...to my new found love with Gavin, my little man. He's been here 2 years and he has been a true delight! I work this pesty job to pay the bills, but my true passion is writing. I'm working on it...hard trust! Prayfully you'll see this name up in lights in Hollywood reeeeeeeeal....soon. Okay enough about the kid already. Thanks for listenting. Chow!